4th of July

“Hey, I know you’re family has been going through a lot, but you’re up for being forced. You have to work on July 4th, for the firework detail.”

That is what my sergeant told me on my first shift back after being off for 2 weeks. I was off work because there were officers killed in the line of duty at my husband’s police agency that he was directly involved with. It was a heavy season. 

I was annoyed I would have to work a holiday, but dealt with it. The day came and I was headed to work for my 6pm shift. When I got there , the Sergeant told me a fire Marshall would be riding in the police car with me. I think the point of the detail I was working was to find people lighting fireworks in the act. I suited up and we went 10-8! (10-8 in police terms means, to be in service)

I remember the exact place I was and the time it was when the call came out. I was at a red light on the west side of the city and it was 7:10pm. I was the only police officer available in the city because it was shift change and other things were going on for the holiday.

The dispatcher raised me on the radio and asked me to respond to a baby not breathing from drowning, at an address on the east side of the city.The address was across the street from a large hospital in our city. I remember thinking about how close they were to medical professionals , but it was me who had to go. I turned on my sirens and drove.… FAST. The fire marshal who was with me, looked over to me and said “you know I am not a firefighter or a paramedic right?”. I had no words. My mind was racing. I remember thinking to myself “Do I know how to do CPR on a baby?…Okay…. if they are a baby I have to put them on my arm, if they are older then on the floor…what if the baby is blue…what if I am too late” The less than a couple minutes of a very fast drive, felt like an eternity but also too fast all at the same time. 

I was a “baby believer” at this time in my life. I came to a saving faith in Jesus Christ months before. I said a prayer before we arrived, “Lord save this child.”

We arrived and I ran out of my unit to a little girl lying on the grass with a pale face. For a split second I looked at her and thought of my 1yo son. They appeared to be the same height, weight, skin color. I put my hands on her chest and started CPR. I think there was a crowd of people circled around me, a lot of screaming from family, but my mind went into tunnel vision and all I saw was the little girl. 

I remember hearing on the radio from an officer that the fire department was still on the west side of the city. I looked up and told my partner at a loss. He suggested we get her in a police unit and take her across the street to the hospital, we were seconds away. I picked her up and got into the back of a police unit. At this point, I felt a faint pulse in her neck. As we backed out of the location, a fire truck pulled up. I jumped out of the car with her and handed her over to paramedics. They loaded her into an ambulance and transported her to the hospital. 

After I handed her little body over to a firefighter, I looked up and saw a sea of people. I saw blue uniforms from the fire department, I saw black uniforms from my agency, and I saw a lot of people wearing red, white and blue. One of my husband and I’s best friends, Officer Q, walked up to me, and said “hey, are you good?” 

I don’t know how I held back the tears, but I did. I don’t know what I said to him, I don’t know what anyone else said to me. I just needed a moment. I don’t remember much, but I remember the feeling like it happened yesterday. The fire marshal and I got back into my patrol vehicle and I drove to the police station. I don’t remember if there was small talk, I don’t remember which way I drove back to the station, but I do remember thinking that I did not want to know if the little girl died. 

I got back to the station and texted my husband who was up the street at his parents house to watch fireworks. He asked me if I was okay and I did not know how to answer. After collecting myself in the bathroom, the sergeant called me into his office. He closed the door and told me “you can only be pushed so far in this job until you break…go home.” I don’t remember what I said. I changed out and went to meet my son and husband. I remember family asking me if I was okay, praying with me and for the sweet little girl. But the entire time I just kept telling myself I did not want to know what her outcome was.

Hours later, Officer Q texted me and told me the little girl was awake and acting totally normal. He told me, I had a part in saving her life. I thought…not me.…only Jesus. There was a lot I still did not understand as a bible believing Christian, but his mercy and saving grace, I did. 

I pondered on the incident for weeks. Looking at my son, would make me think of her. Eventually the memory faded, although never forgotten. Months later I was awarded with a life saving award by the city and agency I worked for. I was reunited with the little girl and her family. It was an honor, and sweet gift from the Lord to see her again.

I talk a lot on here about how hard it was to leave my career. But when I go through incidents like this and see the Lord’s hand in my life, where he had me at the time, for that…. I am grateful.